We went to the clinic this morning as was planned. I couldn't get to sleep last night and when I eventually did, I absentmindedly put my alarm off and we slept in! After a mad dash, quick shower,etc, we drove up and were only about 20 minutes late.

We saw one of the nurses we saw before who was lovely. We explained about what has been happening since Sunday and she agreed that it was highly unlikely that our test results would be good news.

She spoke with us for a while and explained afew things to us and we had a chat about the stress I had been under with work and all. She used to work in the same place as me and so was aware of how awful they are to their employees.

I gave the staff a card with some money in, today for their next or Christmas night out. Regardless of what has just happened to us, we are truly grateful for everything they have done to help us so far. They must get so much job satisfaction in doing what they do - a bit like finding a needle in a haystack finding a job like that nowadays within healthcare!

We got home and I have been really quiet. I'm knackered and feel so run down. I wish I could get a decent sleep. I think that one of the reasons I don't is that I'm frightened to wake up with the realisation of what has happened again. I guess we just have to remain as positive as we can for the time being.

The nurse called us there after 2pm to confirm what we already knew. She explained that my case would be discussed at the next clinical meeting which is on Friday this week. Apparently, they look at what they could do differently for future attempts. I can only surmise that that would mean alterations to the drug regimes and or possibly more investigations. So we have to call this Friday after 1pm to find out what happens next for us.

Thankfully, I still have a bit of time left off work to get myself fit again (the GP gave me a line on Friday and boy am I glad I did now after Sunday). I did toy with the idea of going back earlier but DH thinks it would be wise just to take it easy and I think I need to agree with him on that score. I do need to get some things sorted out at work so that I don't have the same carry on next time. The less stress I have, the better chance we might have next time around if we choose to go ahead.

Love,
L,xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx