Hello again,
As I said before, I will come on and post more as different things arise.
Today my period came but I have to wait until tomorrow morning to phone and see if we will be accepted to start this month (I'm keeping everything crossed again!). I will post again tomorrow when I find out.
I went to see a psychic lady on Friday there. I hadn't been for a reading for 3 years so was eager to go and see what came up.
She told me loads of stuff - about why we have this problem and that by our 5th wedding anniversary, we will have a child, possibly a girl (for some reason, I have always visualised my first child being a girl). It's just coming up for our 4th anniversary mid-May. She also mentioned about there being twins, but my brother and his wife have just had twin boys in the last 3 weeks.
I felt even more positive after seeing that lady and if nothing comes to pass, at least I felt lifted for afew days.
It has been hard with the arrival of my new nephews who are just wonderful. We found out September last year that my sister-in-law was pregnant. I felt numb and completely hopeless. The day after we found out, my brother phoned again to say it was twins and again I felt I had been kicked in the teeth. I was torn between my joy for them and the sadness that I felt and found it really hard seeing them. I avoided them for quite a while and even at Christmas there, I cancelled our night out over New Year that we had arranged.
It took me until late January to find the courage to be with them and slowly, I began to get excited about it all.
The boys were born on 12th March. I felt so proud but also kept crying that day and felt really tired and exhausted. We have been afew times to see them but I worry in case we get in the way. I really do want to be part of their little lives but again I'm trying to protect myself from getting hurt and feeling the ache that goes with it...........my husband and I call it "a sore heart". I'm quite sure that others reading this who have been in similar situations know exactly the feeling I mean.
I'm going to sign off just now but I will come back tomorrow and write about what happens when I call the clinic.
